A volunteer addict is someone who chooses to donate their "free time," as well as blood, sweat, tears and a piece of their heart to the organization of their choice and then spend most of their waking (and sometimes sleeping) hours thinking about and working for afore mentioned organization. It's something the volunteer addict does willingly and cheerfully. It gives them purpose and joy and people to talk with and care for.
It's wonderful. It's rewarding. I wouldn't trade one minute of my volunteering for the world. I've met some of my best friends there. But now that season is over, and for me (the addict) it's devastating.
I was fine over the summer. I had my kids to occupy me--activities to plan. But now my kids are back in school and the bazillion emails and facebook posts have stopped. And I miss it. Terribly.
I realize once again I defined who I was and I defined my worth by what I "did" as opposed to who I "am" in Christ.
I feel like a misplaced person.
In addition to my current pity party , I decided to start job hunting. (because everyone knows misery LOVES company) I dug up my resume and started browsing. I've been out of the work force for 10 years now. I've worked my butt off (sadly only figuratively speaking) volunteering, but somehow that's not the same as corporate experience in the fields I'm looking in. Not to mention, when did everything get so specialized? "Back in the day" you just majored in Business or Communications, or Chemistry or Biology (if you were going the medicine route). "Back in the day" one degree was enough. Maybe I can be an intern? They work for free.
I heard something really inspirational at my friend Julie's church in Nashville. It was really timely to my inner conflict (God does that) and I thought I would share it with you. Her church was going over the 10 Commandments. The day I attended was the one on "Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain." To myself I was thinking, "Boy, I've got this one covered."
I may at times say a few choice four-letter-words but I never say "Oh, God"--unless I'm praying. Come to find out the word "Take" in Greek in that passage means to "take on," "put on," as in identity. We were made in the very likeness of God and yet we call ourselves all sorts of names. I know I do. At times I have called myself "looser," "failure," "fat," "not good enough"--constantly in a rat race with my own expectations to prove myself worthy of some imaginary medal or title. (And this is with an excellent childhood and supportive family. I can't even imagine what I'd be like otherwise.) And every time I call myself derogatory names I take God's identity in vain. Every time I call myself derogatory names I take my identity in Christ for nothing.
The second definition of vain is as follows:
b. producing no result; useless.
"a vain attempt to tidy up the room"
| synonyms: | futile, useless, pointless, to no purpose, hopeless, in vain;
ineffective, ineffectual, inefficacious, impotent, unavailing, to no avail, fruitless, profitless, unrewarding, unproductive, unsuccessful, failed, abortive, for nothing;
thwarted, frustrated, foiled;
archaicbootless
|
The battle starts in the mind my friends. What kind of story could God write in our lives if we would just stop "Taking His name in vain?"
This pastor blew my mind.
And I am still learning this lesson.
This blog will not be in order. It will be a "mish-mosh" of thoughts, recipes, and home projects. But mostly it will be sharing lessons I am still learning. Stay tuned. :)
